For perfectionists- you can feel a LOT of pressure around the holidays.
I mean what IS THE PERFECT GIFT!?!?!
😩 What if it doesn’t fit?
😫 What if they find it secretly insulting?
😩 What if they don’t like it and that means I don’t know them at all!?
Cue guilt storm...
I mean, perfectionists overthink everything else in life, why would the holidays be any different!?!
But if there was something, someway to make it feel less daunting, less overwhelming... what would that be?
*𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘉𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘶𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘰𝘳𝘴*
Let’s put it into a frame work shall we??
💕 How about The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman?
Just in case you're like what is that?
The 5 Love Languages is a frame work created by Dr. Gary Chapman that explains how people give and receive love differently.
When we are giving a loved one a holiday gift, odds are we are wanting to express love for them in some way.
And we put a casual crap ton of pressure on ourselves to give them the best gift!
So why not play into the way that they already identify how they receive love?
Without further ado, let's dive into what some gifts might look like for each love language and let's take some of the pressure off this gift giving season!
Words of Affirmation
For anyone with the words of affirmation love language, they want to know in words your love and admiration for them (self explanatory, I know).
But you can express this many different ways in gift form:
You can write them a letter and I mean like hand written style letter telling them how much they mean to you. Just recently my partner and I decided that for our anniversary we wanted to just do letters rather than gifts of any kind and his letter to me might be my most cherished possession.
An item that might normally seem mundane BUT add a personal note to it- you can find literally anything on Etsy to personalize (a pen holder with a love note is perfect for those who sit at desks).
Something they can read and read and read again! A great idea is getting them a book and writing a personal note inside stating why you think they would like this particular thing and why if made you think of them.
People who have touch as their highest love language feel a large sense of affection when you, shocking I know, touch them! Now, get your head out of the dirt! This is not just for sex (although yes that counts) this is also for when you're sitting at the dinner table and they put their hand on your leg. It's the little gentle touches that make them feel so appreciated and adored.
What this means for gift ideas:
A nice heated, weighted of fluffy blanket will do wonders for those who have touch love language.
A massage! Either a gift card to a massage place (if that is a safe option where you are) or if this is a gift for sexy time, some massage oil with a promise that you'll be the masseuse (bow chica bow wow!).
Gifts love language means that you can get them ANYTHING right!?!?
Wrong. People with the gifts love language want gifts that made you think of them. Thats where the receiving of love really comes from.
Exercise: An easy way to figure out what might be a good idea here would be to write out a list of the things this person loves. You can even go the extra mile and, whenever you talk to them, create a note in your notes app of the things they say they love.
Using those resources you can help narrow down your search to things that they would love and appreciate because it is meaningful to them.
Acts of Service
Delegation is the name of the game here!
Acts of service love language people tend to really love overloading themselves.
So answer this:
What is something that you can take off their plate so they can spend more time doing what they love?
A grocery delivery service gift card?
Or what is something they consistently buy/purchase that you can take off their hands. Are they about to move? Give them a gift card to target! Do they LOVE self care? Give them a Fab Fit Fun subscription!
What is something they do probably on the reg that you can take off their plate so they get to focus on more of the important things.
Experience gifts are where it’s at for these humans.
But Nicole! We live in COVID times... what on earth is an experience anymore!? I haven't had an experience since MARCH!?
Super good point and it's not something to be ignored (please!)
But it is something you can get creative about and workaround.
For example: Let's say this was for your S/O, what was your first date? Can you recreate it at home?? Or give them a coupon for "build your own fort night and you order in pizza and watch their favorite movie on the pallet you made on the living room floor? That is some quality time!
But what if this isn't for an SO, let's give the example for a parent. Can you get them a wine self care night gift basket? I.e. a basket filled with a bottle of wine, bubble bath, a candle, some salts and a good book? How can you give them the opportunity to have quality time with them selves?
This list is just the beginning but I hope it gave you some inspiration to create something really special for your loved ones plus I hope it takes some of the pressure off yourself.
All we did here was take something that is overwhelming and chunked it down into categories.
And spoiler alert, if it works with gifts... it can work in all areas of your life.
So get ready to exhale and dive into a holiday shopping season filled with ease.
Listen to the full episode HERE:
P.S. Wanting to learn more about 1:1 coaching?
Send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org and we can set up your free discovery call!